The Stupidest Man on Earth

   
   

Mr. Doug Pederson AKA SpectateSwamp was born on the 26th July 1948 somewhere in the nether regions of Canada; sadly, little is known about his early life.

For approximately 20 years he worked as a computer programmer utilizing Fortran H, Fortran F, Cobol, and RPG. He picked up BASIC a little later in his life, writing systems for telephone companies, Cable Companies, and Rural Gas companies among others.

While working at a rock quarry in 1972, he happened upon a mid-sized rock with a hole naturally cut through it, but eleven years of obscurity passed before dreams told him it was a very special rock. Later determining that it was an ancient Indian Medicine Stone, he initially attempted to commercialize the rock and profit from it, until the local Indian culture vehemently objected. Ultimately he determined that the rock found him because he was, in actuality, an Indian Shamen [sic].

He found additional medicine stones in his frequent wandering throughout the Canadian wilderness and RV parks, and began to use them to curse those companies that disagreed with him; however, despite extreme provocation, he refused to curse individuals.

Somewhere around this time Doug picked up a hobby of video taping everything he came across. He soon came to the realization that just about everything he taped contained evidence of alien life. 'Enlightened' about video further, he soon became convinced that the editing of video serves only to degrade the video as a whole, and vowed to teach the world  not only of the aliens and suspicious crow watching him, but also the evils of video editing - except in order that incriminating evidence be removed. Extroverted in his beliefs, Doug has propgated those thoughts on not only videographers' forums, but also on IT forums.

Whilst working at Weyerhauser in 2000, he made the questionable decision of leaving for New York to curse the UN - reasoning that this should be enough to end the worldwide prohibition of marijuana - of which he has made refernce to being a user, going so far as to call his company 'Tokin', which, according to Doug's local paper's 'expert' may have some connection to cannabis.

History was made when Spectate Swamp Desktop Search was released as open source; and, though a SourceForge project was initially opened, Doug could not bring himself to upload the source code, nor would he delegate, even to keen helpers, administrative rights to help him in his life-long quest to make SSDS all that it can possibly be. Currently, that would be many thousands of lines of spaghetti code, to which he advocates users 'add a noodle and JAM IT'. Clearly unknowledgable on the subject of propaganda and persuading people, Doug uses 'screen reshoots', calls people he is pitching to 'lazy, and repeats his few ideas continually, without deigning to even consider that there are better methods than his own. Refusing to listen to those who seek to help him, Mr Swamp is often seen taking quotes out of context, and posting nonsense which is both grammatically incorrect and irrelevant to the topic at hand.

Today Doug can be found traveling from internet blog to chat room to any forum that has not yet banned him for life, talking up the greatness that is SSDS, and posting vidoes of videos playing on his computer screen.

Swampie's future plans are detailed and well established in his mind. Basing his belief on an ancient and little-used calender system, it is Mr Pederson's  conviction that the world is due to end in 2012. Whilst a belief in the world ending imminently would have crushed lesser men, Spectate thinks that due to his self-proclaimed 'Shaman' status and 'magic' stones, he can and will literally 'dance the problem away'. Whether he will be able to do so is yet to be seen.